Fehhh...

A few fellow Publicans seem to think I have gone soft with my post about Flipper down below. Well, my personal assistant has a message for you. "Fook yoo, barang!"

The Land of Phnom Pain

When I was sick and lay a-bed,
I had two hookers by my head;
spent all my money for a lay,
To keep me happy all the day.

And after a few rounds or so,
I watched them steal my shit and go,
they rifled my stuff, all my pills,
despite my sickness and my ills.

And later while at home alone,
I read their texts within my phone;
I knew that they were full of lies,
despite all this, I sent replies.

I was a man once, before I fell,
into my little sexpat hell,
into a state, now quite insane,
The pleasant land of Phnom Pain.

A Porpoise She Is Not

Normally I don't hang out or drink in Sharky's. The whole thing is just not my speed, but a good friend of mine wanted me to alert his regular girl that he would be in town soon. Admittedly I could have called her, but being THE FELGERKARB and being it a Friday, and being that I was out on the piss naturally I decided that a personal visit was at hand.

She was not there, so I proceeded to drink...heavily. Well, um, you might ask, so the fuck what, I mean, what else is new you drunktard? Everybody knows you drink like a fish.

Last night I spent 5 hours with "Flipper". For those expats, sexpats, rejects, and mutants that know her, but for the benefit of my readership I will explain, "Flipper" is a deaf freelancer of some notoriety and renown in the slapper realm....but she is anything but a porpoise...

She is amazing. Yes, she is a whore, yes she has been fucked by half the community in an attempt to add a notch on the strange and unusual belt of been there and done that, but have any of you aholes ever really tried to get to know her? Have you tried to communicate with her, or is she simply the butt of jokes -- a really weird whore and a relief for those of you who do not speak Khmer and just want a quick corn shucking?

I watched the girls, staff and customers look at her like she was something stuck on the bottom of their shoes...something to be scraped off and forgotten. But with a simple dignity, she ignores it all...I guess there are some advantages to being deaf.

So, with limited and drunken skills, I proceeded to speak with her, mime and do just about anything necessary to communicate with her.

She is an old soul.

"Flipper" is amazing, insightful, funny, bright and has so many levels to her persona that I felt shame for all of us that ever made fun of her....I had never bothered to get to know her. She was just a deaf whore, the butt of jokes, the object of pity for some.

She may be a freelancer at Sharky's, but she is a beautiful person, full of energy and life and I know something many of you never bothered trying to figure out with your Kamagra fueled boners...

I know her name.

09-09-09

Happy arbitrary dating system lucky day for all my friends out there.

Semi-Regular Worthless Post

Here is my semi-regular rant about nothing important that nobody cares to read about.
Since I lack the intellectual capacity to post anything on a remotely interesting topic about Cambodia, I will bore you with a post that lacks anything of value in an attempt to affirm to my detractors that I am truly pathetic...

Wait. you know what? FUCK YOU! If you find my blog uninteresting...don't read it, FUCKTARD!
I write this for me, not for YOU.
You want intellectual stimulation, READ A BOOK.

100 Days Plus 1

Stu on his way home...


It has been 100 days plus 1 since we had the funeral for our dear friend Stu. His death came as a shock to us all, and frankly, put many of us into a tailspin for a few days, weeks, or months, depending upon the person and situation. His death plus a variety of other long buried issues started erupting from the earth all around me, like some sort of hell spawn intent at pulling me under to my own grave. I started taking stupid risks, drinking too much, finding myself in that dark hole and unable to find the light. I wasn't being pulled under at all, I was hiding in a pit I dug for myself. I wanted to bury my feelings under the dirt of vice and self indulgence. I was hiding from my life and his death by anesthetizing myself. I suppose many of us considered him the most upbeat guy we knew, with nary a bad thing to say about anyone. His death crushed me more than I knew, and was the last straw for me for a while. I think a lot of us considered him the best among us.

Then suddenly one morning I just woke up, my mind screaming ENOUGH!!!! at me like a warning klaxon of some craft about to crash land on the bleak landscape of the place I banished my soul to. It was almost as if I heard his voice, in that great Kiwi accent of his, saying to me, "Aw, come on, it can't really be all THAT bad, can it?" I had a good laugh until it turned into a good cry, and I felt whole again.

I don't know what all these means now, as I move forward, other than I miss my friend and plan on honoring his life with a long one of my own. It does not mean I am going to become some sort of Trappist monk! Feh, what would the world be without a Felgerkarb on the prowl? But it does mean that when I do "go arrrround", as we Publicans like to say, it will be with a wary eye cast back toward that pit I left behind me.

We miss you Stu, be it 100 days plus one or thereafter unto infinity. You are our friend, and we love you...Thank you for everything.

Cambodian Banking Sector OK

Yet another gem from our beloved Neo-Khmer Rouge mouthpieces:

PHNOM PENH, Aug. 27 (Xinhua) -- Public confidence in Cambodia's banking sector is growing and has managed to withstand the onslaught from the global economic crisis, local media reported on Thursday, quoting the director general of the National Bank of Cambodia (NBC).

And yet another:

Radio France Internationale reports that:

Mrs. Tal Nai Im, director general of the National Bank of Cambodia (NBC), expressed worries that, if the world financial crisis persists, its secondary effect will have a negative impact on the Cambodian bank sector. During the recent period of financial crisis, Cambodian banks were not directly affected.

Ya, not affected, if you believe that, I have a bridge over the Mekong for sale, CHEAP. Do these IDIOTS read their own monthly reports? Do they read their own press statements in the Khmer local press over say, the last 6 months...oh ya, I forgot, they get redacted periodically by the Thought Police.

Impact of the worldwide financial crisis on the banking sector in Cambodia and future prediction were two topics of discussion raised by Mrs. Tal Nai Im, NBC director general, during a roundtable discussion organized by the Club of Cambodian Journalists. Tal Nai Im indicated that the secondary effect of the financial crisis could have a negative impact on the banking sector in Cambodia because of the increasing amount of stagnant loans, i.e. bank loan borrowers during the financial crisis period do not have the ability to pay back their loans to the bank because of the stagnation of their businesses, and the loans borrowed to build houses or buy lands could not be returned to the banks either. Tal Nai Im added that the stagnant loan funds increased from 3.7% in December 2008 to 5.2% in May 2009.

I would bet dollars to spring rolls that it is a lot higher than 5.2%

Currently, Cambodia has 35 banks and 45 financial institutions that are under the supervision and review of the NBC. There are currently 820,284 bank loan borrowers, i.e. 6% of the 14 million population of Cambodia. The amount of bank deposits is $2.9 billion, and the amount of loans is $2.4 billion.

Holy Shit, talk about obfuscation, 35 banks and 45 financial institutions...how many money laundering banks have opened since the financial crisis in Cambodia? Quite a few, I might say. Add to that the fact that you say that of those banks, criminal or otherwise, they have loaned out MORE than the GNP of the entirety of Cambodia recently? MORE than the entirety of the money LOANED to the government of Cambodia this year and last combined? If this is this case, what the hell is going on? There are so many poor here now, who the FUCK are you loaning this money to? Our local rice farmer? Our local spiced egg salesman? No, not any of them, BAD RISKS, eh? Something REEKS of bullshit here...

At the explosion of the financial crisis at the end of 2008, Cambodian banks were not seriously affected. However, Tal Nai Im indicated that the worldwide financial crisis caused a drop in garment export, tourism, construction, as well a drop in real estate prices in Cambodia.

Thank you for your brilliant insight, Tal Nai. I am sure the starving book sellers, flower girls, rural people and hostesses appreciate your insights.
Oh, wait, time for another crackdown.

Don't get me wrong, I love this country, and I support the current government, given the alternatives. But the stupidity and greed of some members of the government of our beloved Iron Man is simply amazing. The pure doublethink of some of the Ministries is just, well, stupefying.

Ok, enough politics, back to black humor, bargirls, and big boobs.