Coming to a Penh Pharmacy Near You!

Originally designed and tested in Pattaya, our local pharmacies here in the Penh have apparently been stocking this new wonder drug for quite some time. I have noticed that the typical Khmer girl's prowess at maintaining a perfectly good lie for weeks on end MUST be based on something new (and improved), so our long suffering hero (yours truly), did some research and after risking life and limb, fire and ice, drunken escapades, and assorted other tomfoolery (to include knife wielding ex-girlfriends), obtained the above sample package.
Be afraid gentlemen, be VERY afraid...

Khmer Vampire Women

Dating a Khmer woman can sometimes be like dating a vampire. Like our hero above, the woman never simply kills you, she only sucks just enough of your life away to keep you weak and unable to escape, leaving you a slave. Every time you think you build up enough strength to make a move to save yourself, using their hideous vampire powers they keep you forever trapped, like some fucking barang bug under a glass. Just squash me and get it over with,
DAMN YOU!
But no, with flashing almond eyes, black silky hair, and a body and soul designed by Satan himself, these spawn of the devil keep you beguiled, under a glamour so powerful that you will revel in your thralldom as you remember a day when you were not such as you have become.

A gilded cage is still a cage.

Silence of the Storm

The amount that I blog is always related directly to my relationship status...

Missy and I have had some serious issues of late, therefore I stand on the shoreline watching the incoming storm and enjoying the silence before the waves crash over the wasteland of my relationship and either wash away the pain and uncertainty, or simply pulls me under into its dark embrace.

Either way I need to post more, eh?

Comrade Douche Bag Gets His Day In Court

Something troubling you, Comrade D(o)uch(e) (Bag)?

Perchance you can feel the icy claws of your victims tearing at your soul from beyond the grave? Your attempt to ease your mind by converting to Christianity seems to have failed you.

You cannot escape your Karma.

Don’t think for a minute you can rest easy, Comrade, because even if the gods be damned ECCC squanders all of its money with the usual Khmer corruption bullshit and collapses, you can bet your skinny prune ass that those that have waited so long for closure will break into your prison and give you a taste of such tender mercies that an eternity in hell will seem like paradise.

It will be just like the old days, eh Comrade?

AUSTRALIAN RIPS OFF SEX WORKER

From the hollowed pages of the Phnom Penh Post Police Blotter:
An Australian man and a Cambodian sex worker were brought into Chroy Changvar commune police station after an argument about not paying enough for buying sex for two nights. The woman said she could not accept US$70 because the man had had sex with her several times during the two nights. The argument surprised neighbours who brought them to the police station. The man was ordered to pay the woman $30 more and $80 to have their names left off the report.

I have been thinking about THIS one a lot over the last few days and I have a few points to make.

1) Since when has two days with a sex worker on the barang circuit cost 100$ in sCambodia? She should have been arrested for gouging.

2) 80$ bucks to grease the police palms to stay off a report...once again, gouging bastards. By Buddha, the going rate is about 20$ to cook the police books. Bogan amateur.

3) Why the HELL did our bogan hero go with the neighbors to the police?! Another amateur mistake.

4) Um, last I checked, prostitution is illegal in sCambodia, so the cops enforcing some sort of fair trade deal is ridiculous and farcical. They must be her pimps. Because if they weren't, then they would have arrested her so they could repeatedly rape her in the cop shop for a few days like most of the pigs around here. They would have used her like a cum dumpster until her family and friends could pay to get her out of their "jail of love". They could have had a chew toy for a few days, and more money. I figured Dey Krohom would have polished their knobs enough to get them all worked up for a few good rounds of rape.
Oh, the humanity.

Prodigal Blues

Cambodia is an amazing place. Many live here to get the hell away from wherever or whatever they have had enough of. She takes us in her warming embrace and smothers out the pain and sorrow from which we escaped, sometimes with just our lives, if not our souls. But I tell you, whatever it is one may run from, it always finds you. Even in Cambodia...

Riding my life
Like a run-a-way train
Moving from
One track to that
Howling, crying,
Screaming at the moon
Only my voice came back
Only the echo came back

(thanks to Billy Idol for one of the best set of lyrics ever put to music)

Freak Out!

This is probably one of the best goddamn albums every produced and recorded in history....if you are over a certain age. Most of you young punks probably would not understand this album, but it is history -- it came out in 1966. I don't claim to be any sort of music guru or historian, but I know good when I hear it, and this is it. The social commentary is still very valid, and more to the point, many of the songs fit Cambodia perfectly, especially in this era of the Neo Khmer Rouge, and less severely, I cannot enter any hostess bar and not hear in my squirming like a toad brain:

Suzy Creamcheese, what's got into you?